Queenkv’s Brainpickings

Exploring the other side of the rainbow

April 20, 2003

i hate myself

i’m ashamed. i’m pissed off. i’m depressed……and i’m in the mood to curl up under the covers and hide from the world….it sucks that it’s easter sunday

i don’t think i can get massages anymore. trust violated. body used. couldn’t do anything. froze up….wes said it’s probably a self-defense thing for me to…to freeze up….shit. i don’t take hankido for relaxation. what the hell is wrong with my reflexes? my instinct? do i have any sense of self-preservation? what’s wrong with me?

i hate myself.

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