Queenkv’s Brainpickings

i got a package from my cousin on friday - she baked chocolate chip cookies for me! they were yummy yummy…..

on Saturday, Mark made pancakes.

Isn’t it cute? it was tasty as well….

i got banged my leg up in hankido yesterday, by somebody three times my height and weight. ouch. not only is it bruising, but i also got this funny soft spot in my leg, like an indent - i don’t think it was there before.

i hate my job. more nasty customers. thank goodness i’m leaving.

at church, on Sunday, a missionary from Haiti dropped by - to ask for donations and to tell us about his experiences there. He started his misson when he was 23 years old - a college senior. He hasn’t stopped since. He had some funny stories. He also had some pretty dire accounts of the slums in Haiti. The children would always come to his school so exhausted. He finally found out why. The children had to sleep in 2 hour shifts. Just as one is about to find some rest, the child is roused from his sleep and told to stand guard. Or else, the rats would sneak in and start chomping on their toes. It was the only way to protect themselves. At this one former prison - in Port Au Prince, the walls and floor are covered in this gray muddy substance. Basically, it’s the leftover guck of human waste and decay, that has built up over the years. He visited the site with two of Mother Theresa’s nuns. He saw Haitian mothers kneeling on the prison floors. They were flattening the gray muddy substance with chicken broth. Then they rolled them into pancake shapes, fried them, and served these pancakes to their children to eat.

He talked about opening the only free medical clinic in Port au Prince, with help of Mother Theresa’s nuns. All the other clinics charged money. Even the schools charged money for attendance. He brought over supplies to take care of 500 people. He was excited and raring to go, on the morning they opened the clinic. He told them to open the doors. He was shocked - he found 3000 people waiting to get inside. Everyone in that line was sick. He panicked. He almost yelled at one of the sisters - “we only have enough for 500 people.” She looked at him calmly. She said, you know what your problem is? you don’t believe that God has a mission for you. you act like many people, as if they were dropped down on this earth, and they’re running around, trying to find some meaning in their lives. God doesn’t expect you to fix everything. Tomorrow morning, you will get up and kneel by your bed and pray. You will listen for what God has to say to you. Now, you will take each person, one at a time, and help them in anyway you can. One at a time. God will be with you then.

i felt so bad for those people in Haiti….how can my problems even begin to compare? but, still, i’m suffering. honestly, i don’t know where God is in my life right now. Mark told me last night that I probably shut everything out - in self-defense, which is probably why I can’t feel His presence.

here’s the scary thing thought…..it comes down to two scenarios: either God was with me when I was assaulted or He wasn’t. I don’t like either one and their implications. I think, I can handle God not being there, when I was assaulted - at least then, he wasn’t letting this horrible thing happen to me. If He was there…..how could he stand by and let me endure that? So, yeah, I’m confused. Intellectually, I know it’s all in my mind….but how can I move on without a resolution?

ok…i can walk.

and i walked through my part in the demo, this morning. so, i got the practice thing down…..i think i can do this without killing myself. i’m a little nervous about this demo we have for hankido…..i tried to avoid walking today, if i could help it.

just waiting for these machines to finish ghosting - then i’m heading home.

do you feel alone in this world?

askJesse sent this link to me….

Milk And Cereal

it has music, harmony, milk, cherrios, and as far as we can tell - it doesn’t loop….

Power Rangers Movie!

What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

it’s sweet to have the office to myself…lights down low, music playing….hate wearing headphones….try to avoid it when i can.

why do people have to walk and talk on their cells, at the same time? i noticed that last week, as i was walking from the gym to church. nearly all folks were heading in some direction and their ears had somebody elses voice keeping them company. it was a bit disconcerting. as an undergrad, i don’t remember seeing so many students talking to thin air, as they walked from one class to another building.

most of the time, i liked walking alone.

kinda miss it. it was nice to have some quiet time in my head, as i walked. sometimes, it was the only time i had to think on my own - i was busy little bee in college. occasionally, i found my own moments of peace, while walking on campus. there’s this spot, down from the campenile, just past Wheeler, and just before Doe Library - where you can look straight down to the bay. On a clear day, you can see the Golden Gate Bridge. Even when I was running late for a class, that view always stopped me in my tracks. It helped me breathe again.

Last weekend, when I walked on my own, I slipped back into my own thoughts and people watched, every now and then. I felt sorry for the folks who couldn’t tear themselves away from their phones. It was a lovely day for a walk - sunny, hot, and lot’s of people to watch.

It’s luxury, to be a non-student, strolling through Berkeley. I’m glad I still have that to enjoy, before I take off for Chicago.

my boss and my co-worker took off on vacations, separate ones. just dealing with the crunch of an extra workload. there’s no way i’m skipping out on hankido today…..speaking of nice bods…one of the girls in my ediets support groups….knows the Asian actress in this pic:

i think they went to high school together….

argh…read another unsavory article in our student tabloid - some folks, after reiterating their experiences with working with technology….well, gosh, they’re making themselves sound more un-educated, and if anything, less tech savvy, than what they were elected to be…….it’s amazing how people can get away with talking smack about an organization - without any real proof to substantiate their allegations.

i’m so glad to be leaving. it’s one of the things that keep me going. i’m so thankful i won’t have to deal with this bullshit next semester.

gosh….4 years at this place…..and i suppose i’m not worth much here….it’s a depressing way to start off this entry. just found out that i’m probably not going to be able to hold on to my job as a telecommuter, while i follow my dreams to northwestern. it stings….i can get into the politics of it all….bitch about the other telecommuting agreements, but i have to remember the important thing here - i’m not going to do computing as my career, not anymore. sure, i was trying to help my job out - given the hiring freeze. i was trying to help myself out, given the intensity of the graduate level workload. but when it comes down to it….i’m leaving. i’m going to chicago. i wanted to help out, i do feel bad about leaving. i will miss my student workers and my co-workers. i don’t want there to bad blood between us. i don’t have the heart to get worked up over this. it’s not worth getting worked up over this. i’m going to chicago. i’m following my dreams. that’s the bottom line.

for theme thursday

a moment of hope……

we’re watching the sunset at a beach, outside of Monterey. this was one of the happiest days of this year, for me. it’s been a tough year…but i survived….and i’m working on staying on top of it……

wow. 4 years at my job…..one of them as a student worker….still here. pretty amazing. kinda sad though….today, we welcomed a new and old co-worker to our staff meeting….new, because he was just hired on a part-time basis…old because he was a student worker like me. folks welcomed him warmly. i can barely remember my first meeting as a career staff worker - boy was I nervous. I felt so insignificant and dumb, in comparison to all the hard core IT people there. it was difficult to follow the issues, because I was never really behind the scenes before…not until now.

i did some good stuff today though….

Queenkv’s Portal…..ah yes, I wanted to tackle down php and all the good stuff…and lived to tell the tale. It took me a few days….thanks to the movabletype forum, khalido, and this freeware: caRP…..it rocks!

this probably happened, just as I was getting through my last REM cycle…

the alarm went off…i got out of bed and placed it on snooze….it went on again - not much snooze time - classical music blaring from the classical music station….snoozed it again….and it went on again….this time, i decided to wake up and turn off the alarm. i couldn’t turn it off. i tried to turn down the volume - i didn’t want to wake Mark up….it kept getting louder and louder….i even unplugged the alarm clock radio, from it’s wall outlet - it kept going.

i was worried…and freaked out.

then i really woke up.

i was able to turn off the alarm.