It was sunny today and we’re currently chilling at the Grove on Chestnut - San Francisco….pretty damn close to the Exploratorium and the Golden Gate Bridge.
Earlier, we chilled on the dock, by the bay….with a cup of chilli and chilli dogs. It was simply heaven. The sun was warm, we had a breeze, and we were free from any worries or projects.
yeah, I know I was drunk last night. wanted to drown out the pain. I’m glad I listened to Betina though. She asked me to wait for her and her honey, before I opened up the booze. At least that way, we would be drinking together….instead of attempting to drown my sorrows. Thank God I was able to get to her, to talk to her, after my mental breakdown at the gym. I felt so alone and I panicked. I know it’s all in my head…..but it still feels pretty damn real to me.
oh so drunk.
a wonderful time with betina, her boyfriend, and his dorm buddy eddie. we went down to the forum club, on san pablo - real close to hans’ place. kim was quite nice. when i’m sober - i’ll try to do a bon vivant thing on the place.
damn. i’m drunk.
hate to admit it….but i need it…..
i was so alone tonight,
i ended up at the rsf. alone. i tried walking to my hankido class and i panicked. i was all alone. i was confused. god help me. i prayed so hard, in the most desparate of lowlness.
watching monk - “can’t win them all!” because he never saw a a naked man….and monk totally wanted to get out of there. it was quite cute.
it hurts to be me. i don’t know why…..i want to be normal. desparetly so. god i’m pathetic. why am i still alive….i guess i don’t like myself.
hungry….use your wild wild west techniques..goddamn it kitty! ok…watching southpark now.
why should i still be here? so tainted….
so drunk….
