Queenkv’s Brainpickings

my first entry for photo friday.

i took this shot, back in August - from PacBell Park….I’m amazed at how beautiful this ballpark is. I can kick back, watch Bonds hit a few homers nad gaze out at the beautiful San Francisco Bay.

awww shucks! I love getting halloween cards:)

I got this one from one of my ediets buddies….

and this one from Mark…..

people are so nice

wondering thru cyberspace….trying to distract myself…#!/usr/bin/girl linked to this cool site….

ExtremePumpkins.com - Extreme Pumpkin Carving

i wish i had that talent….

apparently…..i do have some potential to be a vampire….

Legardored is your Vampire name.
You are one hell of an insane Vampire. Anyone who
messes with you is out of their minds.
To use your new Vampire name and become a Vampire,
go here:
www.life-blood.vze.com

What is your Vampire name?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yahoo! News reported that High School Girls Pummel Man Who Exposed Himself. Fuck yeah! That’s awesome!

“A man described by authorities as a known sexual predator was chased through the streets of South Philadelphia by an angry crowd of Catholic high school girls, who kicked and punched him after he was tackled by neighbors, police said on Friday.”

i wish i had their courage…..

he did it again. a month after he ripped my life apart - he did it to another girl. i’m second guessing myself now….why didn’t call the police sooner? why didn’t make a bigger deal out of it? why are they letting this asshole still work over there?

why didn’t i stop him?

what’s wrong with me?

midnitelily took this quiz…..so decided to do so….monkey see….monkey do

What’s Your Outlook on Life?
brought to you by Quizilla

really? I am?

corporate infiltration can be scary…..i took this pic a few weekends ago, in Chinatown, San Francisco. I was actually pissed off when I saw the napster logo plastered up, posing like it’s some grassroots return.

It’s sad to see an amazing community development tool bitch-slapped around by the big corporate media types and then whipped into submission - transforming itself into another suit. Hey - did anybody see SouthPark last night? [I think the only thing scarier is when the RIAA busts out with some FBI chops to bring down the downloading criminals - college students, 12 year old kids, senior citizens…..oh yeah - big threat to the fucking Recording Labels.] When the musicians go on strike to protest people downloading music? Because each time a kid got free music - another artist is foced to live in “semi-luxury….” Oh no! Little Romeo won’t get the private South East Asian island, that he asked for Xmas.

Inspiration: These week’s theme suggestion, just in time for
Halloween, came from Dan of http://fork.com/~danh/. His idea was,
“What scares you? Heights? Dogs? Spiders? Clowns? Go out and take a
picture of something you think is scary and post it to the Theme
Thursday page.”

Last night, I was channel surfing and found Hey Ya on the radio……this song put a smile on my face because they couldn’t stop playing down in So. Cal….kind like my vacation theme, for last weekend.

Hey Ya
by Outkast

[Intro]
One two three go!

[Verse One - Andre 3000]
My baby don’t mess around
Because she loves me so
And this I know fo shooo..
Uh, But does she really wanna
But can’t stand to see me

Walk ou the dooo..
Don’t try to fight the feelin’
Because the thought alone is killing me right nooww..
Uh, thank god for mom and dad
For sticking through together
‘Cause we don’t know hooowww…
UH!

[Chorus]

Heeeyyy… Yaaaaaaa..
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..
Heeeyyy… Yaaaaaaa..
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..
Heeeyyy… Yaaaaaaa..
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..
Heeeyyy… Yaaaaaaa..
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa..

[Verse Two - Andre 3000]
You think you’ve got it
Ohh, you think you’ve go it
But got it just don’t get it
Till’ there’s nothing at
AaaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAaaaaaallllll..
We’ve been together
Ohh, we’ve been together
But seperate’s always better when there’s feelings

InvooooooOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOlved
If what they say is (”Nothing is forever”)
Then what makes, Then what makes, Then what makes
Then what makes, Then what makes LOOVVEEE?
(Love exception) So why you, why you
Why you, why you, why you are we so in denial
When we are not happy heeeerrreeee…
Y’all don’t want me here you just wanna dance

[Chorus]
Heeeyyy… Yaaaaaaa.. (OHH OH)
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa.. (OHH OH)
Heeeyyy… Yaaaaaaa.. (Don’t want to meet your daddy, OHH OH)
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa.. (Just want you in my Caddy OHH OH)
Heeeyyy… Yaaaaaaa.. (OHH OH, don’t want to meet yo’ mama OHH OH)
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa.. (Just wan’t to make you cumma OHH OH)
Heeeyyy… Yaaaaaaa.. (I’m, OHH OH I’m, OHH OH)
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa.. (I’m just being honest OHH OH, I’m just being honest)

[Bridge - Andre 3000]
Hey, alright now
Alright now fealous, (YEAH!)
Now what’s cooler than bein’ cool?
(ICE COLD!) I can’t hear ya’
I say what’s cooler than bein’ cool?
(ICE COLD!) whooo…
Alright, alright, alright, alright

Alright, alright, alright, alright
Alright, alright, alright, alright
Alright, alright, alright, Ok now ladies, (YEAH!)
And we gon’ break this back down in just a few seconds
Now don’t have me break this thang down for nothin’
Now I wanna see y’all on y’all baddest behavior
Gimme some suga’, I am your neighbor ahh here we go!
Shake it, shake, shake it, shake it (OHH OH)
Shake it, shake it, shake, shake it, shake it, shake it (OHH OH)

Shke it, shake it like a Poloroid Picture, shake it, shake it
Shh you got to, shake it, shh shake it, shake it, got to shake it
(Shake it Suga’) shake it like a Poloroid Picture

[Verse Three - Andre 3000 (Repeating “Shake it” in background)]
Now while Beyonc� and Lucy Lui
And baby dogs, get on the floor
(Get on the floor)
You know what to dooo..

Yooooouuu.. know I do

[Chorus]
Heeeyyy… Yaaaaaaa.. (OHH OH)
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa.. (OHH OH)
Heeeyyy… Yaaaaaaa.. (OHH OH)
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa.. (Uh oh, Hey Ya)
Heeeyyy… Yaaaaaaa.. (OHH OH)
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa.. (Uh, uh, OHH OH)

Heeeyyy… Yaaaaaaa.. (OHH OH)
Heeyy Yaaaaaaaa.. (OHH OH)

[Chorus until fade]

my therapist is thrilled I don’t hit the bottle for any comfort from these really low moments in my life……

shopping helped - but I don’t like the idea of dropping $30 for a new car charger. What the hell?

read thru some old old emails…….back when Mark didn’t know what it was like to be hurt by me…..

i feel so worthless right now. i really do. no matter how many times i bend over backwards for my job - it’s never enough. sometimes it feels like i’m going to slip through the cracks, like a faint memory…..that’s all i’ll ever be here - and it really doesn’t matter how much heart and worry i put into this job. it really doesn’t matter.

a year ago - i thought i was stuck here - in this limbo - unable to make enough to break free and no creditials to propel me into a dream job…..now, i’m posied to leave Berkeley behind and start a new life in Chicago. It’s scary and exciting - but it’s better than feeling like I have no where else to go. I’m grateful to feel those moving anxieties - I’m thrilled to have those new-person jitters - in a city where I probably don’t know anybody. It’s better than the limbo - a place I was almost resigned to. I was almost able to imagine a few more years of working my ass off at a job that isn’t a career to me. I was almost able to picture my life - struggling to make ends meet and starving my soul of any passionate endeavors. I was almost able to seeing my youth slip away without taking any more risks on my dreams.

Thank God - I couldn’t stand to let that happen to me.

Yeah, I know I am going to flush hundreds of dollars into Northwestern, in the next month or so - money that I’m running quite thin on. I know I am going to be living with jitters and nerves as I feel my way through a new school, a new city, a new life. I know it won’t be easy. Life isn’t fair. But fuck it - that doesn’t mean I can give up. I won’t give up.

My family believes in me.

Mark has faith in me.

I’m starting to see that I will survive the Chicago winter. More than that - I’m going to bloom.

Just wait.

Thoughts from a stolen soul posted this blog about a court case involving Amish buggies and reflective orange tape…..

Even stranger - there’s this link to an Amish Web Portal - what the heck are Amish folks doing with a website???? I don’t get it….

According to their site:
“The Amish live by the Bible, their faith is based on the whole book, and they take it quite literally. Much of what we see about them that is “different” comes from the bible verse I John 2:15 ?Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the father is not in him.? This is the reason behind the avoidance of technology and new things. Many of the Amish do not use electricity because their Amish lifestyle is centered God, Family and self sufficiency, the Amish decided in the early 1900’s that linking with electrical wire would constitute a connection with the world that violates the Bible?s instruction not to be ?conformed with the world”

Uh….so why a website???

i also needed to drop off some stuff from my house….at least 10 xerox paper boxes….so much stuff…..i need to get rid of some desks, book shelves, and a dining table as well….probably will post on craiglist for that….

when we drove past the grapevine and magic mountain - we saw a huge cloud of smoke - off to the side…..that was just the simi valley fire getting started….and that was a preview for the blazes to come.

i had no idea that Southern California was on fire last week - now there are 4 fires burning all at the same time…..

i called up my cousin, after reading about the fires in San Diego - yah, she confirmed she’s living in a disaster area - however, she isn’t near any dry bush…..so, she should be ok.

when i use to live at the skating dorms in the San Bernadino Mountains - I attended Rim of the World High School. I found out from my cousin that now this high school is on fire, as well.

“As of 9:45 a.m. on Tuesday some 26,000 plus acres have burned across the mountain. The San Bernardino Mountains portion of ‘The Old Fire’ fire is at 5 percent containment. THE FIRE IS NOW CURRENTLY BEING HELD AT RIM OF THE WORLD HIGH SCHOOL AND AIR TANKER WATER AND RETARDANT DROPS ARE PROGRESSING AT THIS TIME.”

Funny, I wanted to take Mark up to Lake Arrowhead this weekend - to see my old stomping grounds - when we saw the news reports - we decided against that trip.

I wonder about the people I left behind in Lake Arrowhead and at Rim of the World. I spent several summers up there, as part of their skating camp. Then I spent my first semester of freshman year, there. It was difficult to bond with any of the skaters, since my parents forced me to come home every weekend. I heard my old boyfriend got a job as the manager of McDonalds. One of the girls from the skating dorms - went on to become a 2 time Olympic silver medalist. I also heard the girl, who hooked me up with my old boyfriend - ended up getting into an affaired with her married manager, at McDonalds - I guess they had more than one manager over there.

Before highschool - my parents would take a group of girls up to our cabin in Running Springs, for the weekend. We would drive up Saturday - hang out at the cabin. On Sunday - we would head over to Blue Jay for 3 hours of skating. Training in the mountains totally helped with our endurance - running our routines in the thin mountain air made it seem easier, when we were skating down in LA again. In the winter, we’d get to go skiing, after our skating - it was like a reward for us. During the other seasons, we would head over to Lake Arrowhead, after practice. Sometimes we’d get some yummy yummy waffles at the Belgian Waffle House. That was the first place I’ve ever had eggs benedict. Sometimes we would get some biscuits from the McDonalds’ and feed them to the ducks on the lake. For a few July 4ths - we did the picnic thing by the lake and watched the firesworks. We had to stake out our seats, way before sunset.

It’s so odd to read about that entire region burning up. Before highschool - it seemed like this area was part of this idyllic time in my life. Now, I don’t even know if I would recognize it - if I decide to visit, again.