Queenkv’s Brainpickings

1. Concert:: hall

2. Sydney::Aussie
3. Shower::curtain
4. Patterns::circles
5. Market::place
6. Chair::sell
7. London::I see France
8. Reception::Wedding
9. Republican::evil
10. Cough::hate ‘em

unconscious mutterings - week 42

I got this one from one of my ediets buddies….I thought it was funny.

wow….it feels like this will be the last big game I’m going to get tickets…..kinda sad…but hell - Cal lost every single bloody Big Game, for all of my four years as an undergrad at UC Berkeley….

It was quite thrilling to be at the Big Game last year, when we finally got the axe back….

I remember walking down Durant and I saw a Stanford mom, crouching by Unit 1 - she was crying….

heavens - it’s just a game!!!!and

so…we got some kites gathering in Caesar Chavez dog park, in Berkeley….look at them go!

photo friday’s challenge: gathering

See the kites in action.

i should have brought a warmer jacket….

when I feel down at work, I stare at this postcard my brother sent to me, from Chicago….he remembered it being very cold out there. This postcard is now the window to my new life…..just around the corner.

heading over to the Cal vs. stanfurd game, tomorrow, at the farm….should be interesting. the last time i was there, Santa Clara had the swat teams out to swap back the Cal fans from rushing the field…..a couple dozen Cal students were arrested……lot’s of water bottles tossed.

i’m sleepy….lot’s of stress building up to today and now….I got some of the finances squared away for Chicago and my housing taking care of. Plus all the needles poked into me on Wed…..ewwww….hate needles - but Chicago wants to make sure I’m not bringing over anything funky and contagious from sunny Cali.

Wow…three more weeks of work. Then I’m gone.

some pix from Hearst Castle - the unfinished dream by William Randolph Hearst - a man with a big EGO and possibly, an even bigger pocket book….

Ego - This week’s theme suggestion was sent in by Joy McCarnan. She wrote, “Either yours is your own worst enemy, or someone else’s is! Whether it’s a facial expression (the smirk or sneer) or actual physical evidence (the mid-life crisis Jaguar or the dirty socks on the floor) — self-consumed people abound, and self-consumption manifests itself in multiple ways.”

and other things

I figured out to bring a little order to the madness on my portal site. I applied Melissa’s snazzy script to the Brain Candy, Ear Candy, and Shout Out columns. Hooray.

So - I feel good about that….

other things to feel good about….

try doing everything from the opposite of your writing hand. ok, i better break that down a bit. in Hankido - we were encouraged to experiment doing some forms for sixteen step, from the left-hand side. Regardless of your good writing hand, our club tends to teach everything from the right-hand perspective. What a frickin’ trip to do things backward. It feels backward. It’s like putting myself in somebody else’s body, when I’m trying to pull these moves off. So, eeck. But, hey, I can do it, if I just focus. Because I’m good enough, and I’m strong enough, and gosh darn it, people like me.

My whole outlook is changing now….this transition phase is blurring what I see and what I know…..eventually I’ll see things from a different perspective, from Chicago, as a grad student. I will no longer be stuck. I will no longer put my dreams on hold. I’ll be living those dreams out - in Chicago

and I’ll have to do it on my own.

I just wanted to share some adorable pix my ediets buddies sent to me….

I also got a funny funnny joke:

Did you know… While both male and female reindeer grow antlers
in the summer each year, according to the Alaska Department of
Fish and Game, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter,
usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers
until after they give birth in the spring.

a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

more cute pix

awwwwww…….

Main Entry: 1lim�bo
Pronunciation: ‘lim-(”)bO
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural limbos
Etymology: Middle English, from Medieval Latin, ablative of limbus limbo, from Latin, border

Date: 14th century
1 often capitalized : an abode of souls that are according to Roman Catholic theology barred from heaven because of not having received Christian baptism
2 a : a place or state of restraint or confinement b : a place or state of neglect or oblivion c : an intermediate or transitional place or state d : a state of uncertainty [from m-w.com]

the definition of my life, right now….

this is a good one:

a place or state of neglect or oblivion

I’m waiting to hear back on many things - work, school, money, people…..and I made the mistake of getting my hopes up again. That’s what I get for letting my ears pick out what I want to hear…..instead of tuning in for the un-stated reality of how things are…..

I’m not a very important person. I just thought I was worth a bit more than what I’ve been getting, so far.

Dream Deferred
by Langston Hughes (1902-1967)

What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
Like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore–
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over–
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags

like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?

I thought about this poem, often, when I gave up my dream to skate in the Olympics. I thought about it again, when my parents asked me to decline the assignment editor position, in Sac Town. So, I’m no stranger to disappointment. When I put my dreams on hold, life gets bitter - and I start hating myself.

These days go by so slowly. Little things threaten to pop my fragile bubble - the bubble that’s going to free me from this purgatory, in my mind and body - and fly me to meet my dreams in Chicago. Like quick sand, these little things want to pull me into my own hell, suffocate me with memories that can’t be un-done. My self-esteem, on that edge before the quick sand, close to being swallowed up by forces and people who don’t know any better, and don’t care whether I survive or not.

I’m tired getting my hopes up.

I have to focus on what I know is for sure - on the things and people I can count on -

• Medill - ever since I was in sixth grade, I’ve wanted to be a reporter
• family - sorry, but they’re stuck with me….it has something to do with blood and sharing it
• God - yeah, this is still an edgy issue with me - but I still have faith in prayer and my faith is coming a comfort to me again

that’s all.

it’s enough….at least, it should be.

1. Plan B::

2. Seattle:: Starbucks
3. The lady wore:: Red
4. Upsetting:: MBA’s
5. Tampon:: Doesn’t Fit
6. Celebrity:: Not Britney Spears
7. Baja:: California!
8. 64:: 65
9. RGB:: RedGreenBlue
10. Milkshake::mine is better than your’s

free association from Unconscious Mutterings