Queenkv’s Brainpickings

Exploring the other side of the rainbow

January 31, 2004

chilly willy queenkv

Chicago Tribune reported that this frigid weather `just normal January’

yeah…just normal…whatever….it’s vicious out there…this mornign, I woke up and found I got some scratches on my hands, from the icy air. I know what these marks look like - I used to ge them on my face when I went skiing without a face mask. I think I’m going to invest in one really soon.

last night, after a day of running around the city on our public documents scavenger hunt and a night of drinking at Bergoff’s and karaoke…..I got my ass on the red line. It was a two-block walk from the karaoke bar and thankfully, I made it without any trouble. The girls were trying to convince me to take a cab….but I just wanted to get home….

I was buzzed and I got really sleepy on the train. I texted Mark a few times in a futile effort to stay awake.

We pulled into Howard and I was about to step on the purple line train to Evanston.

Then I felt my pockets and I didn’t feel the familar bulge of my cell phone. I freaked out - banging on the doors and flagging down CTA operators about my phone. An Indian guy pointed out it’s location, it must have fell down while I was dozing for bit. He also tried to flagged from some CTA people. Thankfully, they opened up the doors of the red line train, now out of commission for the evening. I grabbed my phone……I was a bit bummed about missing the purple line train.

The Indian guy asked me where I was heading and he said we should check out the schedule. It was only 11:30 and I had a few more trains heading this way before the night was over. He smiled and wished me luck and walked away.

I thanked him.

And this morning, I realized I was lucky to have this stranger looking out for my well-being and making sure I had a way to go home. Maybe he was an angel.

I’m grateful. I made it home, smelling like miller light and nicotine…..does everybody have to smoke in these Chicago bars??? grrrrr…….but I was able to crawl into my bed, chat with Mark before heading of into my dreams….

and this stranger helped me get home.

January 29, 2004

oh so tired….

shhh……..shhhhhhhhh……shhhhhhhhhhhhhh……….finished my stories for tonight….i’m still debating on whether to do a a re-write for a story I got a B+ on. It’s not bad, since it’s a high grade….but I know I can make it better…maybe sometime tomorrow :)

mark sent this link to me….

Yahoo! News - Sleep Fine-tunes Memories

gosh, I hope so. sometimes, when I go to sleep, I wake up….and it’s already the next day….what the hell….

one girl in my class, who also has her own blog, called out to me to blog all my feelings from this day when i get home….smiled….and muttered that the last thing I want to do is to be in front of a computer for another 10 hours….I got to school by 8:30 to work on my city council stories. I didn’t leave till 6pm.

we ended up ordering pizza. our instructor gave me a ride to pick it up from papa johns. several folks skipped lecture…..there was more and more digging…..my eyes were killing me. i think it has something to do with the nasty glare i get from the classroom lights.

my mind felt like it was about to explode.

i had a chat meeting from work. it was nice to check in with folks. it also felt a little more productive, since we had to concertate on whose chatting. it’s also nice to be able to copy the chat transcript and email it out to folks…..

God, I hope I get paid for this telecommuting gig….I haven’t got my timesheet yet. A bit nervous on that front :P

sleepy time…

repeating patterns

theme thursday - Repeating Patterns - from Will Burnham

the EL tracks outside of my dorm….every morning - the train on the purple line rumbles into the station for my first wakeup call. funny thing….i can fall asleep to the train sounds…..and in the morning, they can wake me up. go fig.

January 28, 2004

my brain hurts

i want to bang it against the wall….i figure it well help to accomdate all this damn information for my story.

it’s exciting. it’s what i’ve always wanted to do…..it’s better than cleaning up after the business kids…..but hell, this is hard…..very very hard….writing for deadline….brain about to explode…..running out of time…..

i guess you can say, i’m having the time of my life…

January 27, 2004

walking in a snowglobe

Today is another day…..I started it off walking through a winter wonderland….I listened to the Postal Service on my walk to school - in the snow. The synth beats synched up with the snow fall and I was enchanted.

Jennie brought a smile to my face with these pix!

thank you Jennie! She sent out some pix from Mark’s last visit to LA!!!!! YEAHHHHH!!!!

I didn’t realize Katie had such big paws…….

now….yesterday….

my professor discussed the statuate of limitations the other day……i asked if there were allowances made for victims who needed longer than a year to heal before filing a lawsuit. he answered flippantly, “You shouldn’t take longer than a year to get over something.”

if felt like he threw mud at me.

It’s almost a year and I still get chills when anything that touches the subject of sexual assualt crosses my path. We had to read a Supreme Court case about in which the victim sued a TV station for naming her in their report on the crime. I wonder if anybody in my class sided with the media litigators.

I kept leaving the room, clutching my stomach - hopefully people thought I had cramps, or something…..I locked myself in a bathroom stall and stifled my tears with my hands. It’s still there, that defiled part of me, broken and sore and it drives me crazy when you put pressure on it.

How does one survive sexual assualt in a new city? How can I keep healing. I read my Mary devotionals and I do yoga, each morning, in order to start the day off on a positive note. I try to keep my personal comments vague, leading people away from the last nine months of my life. I can’t predict how any class assignment or conversation will affect me and possibly trigger those memories. I want to keep shoveling dirt on the whole left behind when that asshole ripped out my dignity.

I want to forget it ever happened.

I want to go home.

I can’t trust many people. I don’t want pity. I want some understanding, some compassion. I guess it’s not going to help if I’m expected to cover the religion beat for my news writing class - the big deal on the religious front is all molestation scandal in the Catholic Church. I don’t know how I will be able to balance my faith, my commitment to my healing, and my commitment to objective and hard-hitting news reporting, on this beat. I asked my instructor for some senstivity on the beat assignmentsand it looks like I didn’t get it. Ok, part of it is my fault (probably 90%) - I emailed my beat choices in too damn late.

January 24, 2004

it started snowing yesterday….

and it’s still snowing. kinda pretty outside and then the wind hits ya from out of nowhere….

feelin’ kinda out of it…..skipped happy hour with my program, just so I can go home and veg. popped in Buffy and saw the “Replacement” episode when Xander get’s split in two. At the end, Riley says he loves Buffy and he knows that she doesn’t love him back. I know this is an old episode, but it’s my first time watching it……my heart went out to poor Riley! Unrequited love is so damn painful.

i should be working on my rewrite…..

i got this little blog going, instead…..

K.Vera’s Chicago Photoblog

it’s easy to do…thanks to movabletype- but it takes time…..time I could use to finish this rewrite….

grrrrrrr…..

ok. enjoy

day one - from Cali to New Mexico

yeah….I should be working on my outline for my Ethics and Law Research paper…..I guess that’s not happening any time soon :P it seems like many of my classmates are taking a break from our academic workloads, one way or another……I was good on Saturday, finished most of my reading and most of my re-write (grrrrrr……you have to re-write your stories if you recieve a B- or less….grrrr…………ok ok, I know it’s a learning experience - but honestly, I spend quite a few HOURS getting through a draft and editing it).

i worked out this morning.

i went to Chinatown for dim sum and some Chinese New Year ambiance…..didn’t see much of the parade and I ate like a pig when it came to all those yummy yummy dishes….Mark recomended the chicken feet….Chuck loved the jellyfish and now, so do I - it tasted like kimchi, to me.

Also went to church today…..when the choir director invited singers to join up, I felt a nudge in my heart. So, I joined up with choir and I will sing with the 5:00 mass next Sunday. neato.

ok….so….here’s my first shot at writing about my trip to Chicago. I left the bay area a a couple weeks before Xmas, so that I would have some time with my family before the trip. Mark took off for Buffalo, NY to hang out with his family. He flew back to Ontario and spent Xmas eve and Xmas day with me.

This was my first road trip across the country. Mark made a cross country trip a few years earlier, moving from Buffalo to Richmond California. For that trip, his family decided to take 80 - through northern region of the country. For our road trip last month - we took off from my Ninang’s place in Phillips Ranch and used the 60 - 15 - 40 - 44 - east. Away from my homestate. Away from my family. I left behind everything I grew up with and everything I had known. I lived in Southern California for the first part of my life. The Bay Area and Northern California was my home for the last seven years. I was born in Orange - 30 minutes away from Disneyland. I love California because my roots are planted deep in the cities where I skated, in the campus that molded me into adulthood, and in the people I love. My family is in California: my parents left their home country for the oppertunities in America, my brother would lay his life down on the line to protect this country, and my cousin will always open her heart to me and all my shortcomings. My friends are in California - people who have seen me at my worse and still welcome me, people who know they can count on me and I on them. Mark is in California and I miss him every day that goes by. I was excited and terrified of moving to a state where I don’t have family and to a new school, where I won’t see any familar faces.

In my dorm room, I have a picture of the Santa Monica Pier - tacked up over my bed. I can see Lake Michgan from my window. I’m learning about Evanston and Chicago. I’m meeting some really nice people in my program. But my heart is still in California - with the people I love.

We estimated that the trip from Southern California to Chicago, IL, would take 4 days. Mark kept checking with me about my driving endurance - how many hours could I stay behind the wheel with bathroom breaks and gas stops. I figured I could drive on aveage of 6 hours per day based on my experience driving down the 5 from San Francisco to LA on a regular basis. So - we stared at the maps in the Portable Deluxe Road Atlas put out by Mapquest. The last map outlines all the major highways in the United States and labels the roads with time estimates between major cities. We wanted enough time to explore some touristy kitch places along the way. We also wanted to give us enough time to navigate safely through any possible snow storms - in the mountains in Arizona and New Mexico - I had fun driving through the damn snow - my head haunched over the wheel and praying for no sudden turnouts.

When I took off from - I left my mother behind crying….my dad didn’t want to let go of me…..I tried to be strong. I told them I was Superwoman and that I’ll be back in a bit. My mom gave me a jade bracelet for luck and protection. Mark and I pulled out of the drive way in my new low-rider. My poor Toyota was loaded up with everything I thought I needed to make a home in Chicago. We had to take it easy for the dips and bumps in the road. I put more than 2200 miles on that car and she’s still running strong. I promised my Toyota a car wash when the weather clears up.

Our first bathroom break was at Barstow. This is also my Buckie’s break - Starbucks is always crowded here - but the coffee is good and it keeps me awake. 3 miles after Barstow - we veered off the 15 to 40. The week before - I took the 15 all the way to see my Ate’ Gigi in Vegas. Now, I took a new route. Well, my parents said we visited the Grand Canyon when I was a baby. I think they took highway 40.

For the next few hours - nothing. My co-workers gave me a dell dj digital jukebox when I left Haas…..wow! It was great for storing 12 albums of music. It’s 15 gigs and heck, that barely made a dent on the hard drive. It’s amazing how this little device has more space than my laptop. So, music was key - we needed a lot of music to make it through this trip.

For the rest of the trip - we saw signs for Route 66. Mark gave me this book for Xmas: “Traveling Route 66″ and it had some great tidbits on motoring history along this route…..the 40 and the 44 parallel Route 66…more or less…..So, we read about little history bits on the towns we drove through. We had to do it backwards because the book was for a trip from Chicago to LA. So yeah. As a matter of fact, a few days before, Mark and I visited the Will Rogers marker in Santa Monica - it marked the end of Route 66. So, this all kinda synched up with my little cross-country adventure.

At Needles, we saw some rock/hill/mountain formations that could pass for Needles. Ok. Neat. We crossed into Arizona before sunset. We used the northern route of Arizona and it was damn cold out there. By nightfall, we remembered Cal was playing Virgina Tech at the Insight Bowl in Phoenix. Neato. So we listend to most of the game through our Arizona leg - Cal kicked ass….but as usual, the Bears managed to screw around in the first quarter or so. We had to keep changing stations because we kept losing reception. But there were at three stations broadcasting the game. I’d like to think that traveling through Arizona sent down some Golden Bear luck to the team…..

We crossed into New Mexico and we were still listening to the game. We had planned on staying at a Super 8….but the book mentioned some Hollywood glamour at the El Rancho in Gallup - just off the New Mexico border. The price was right and we stayed at this adorable motel, all decked out with christmas lights, snow, and autographed photos of movie stars. Ok, I don’t think they planned on decorating the place with snow, it just happened, but it looked cute.

I’ll tell ya more about the El Rancho, in a bit….

back to the books….

January 22, 2004

the birds are always monkeying around….

from the Flamingo Hilton in Vegas

tux_birds.jpg

i think it’s in the way they waddle…..it always looks like they’re goofing off.

for theme thursday

January 20, 2004

2 bedroom apartment = $850/month

wow….talk about cheap renting out here! the ad also said utlities came out to $10-20/month. Good grief! In the bay area, I remember paying more for a one bedroom apartment in Richmond :( I’m still happy with my dorm in Evanston, though. I don’t have to pay for cable, Internet access, and utlities. Plus, Northwestern automatically takes it out of my loans. So, I don’t have to write out checks for this place :0

I also have a funny joke for you. So, we had a Jesuit priest from Loyola University at Sheil, last Sunday. He said his father, a good Irish Catholic, inisted that Joesph must have been at the wedding in Canaan. He must have been proud to see his son perform the whole water into wine miracle. Then, the next morning, he woke up with a wee headache. He asked Mary to bring him a class of water and said, “For God’s sake, don’t let the kid touch it!”

Mark went down to LA this weekend. Cali people get the Martin Luther King, Jr, holiday off. (and in Virginia….hell….the decided to celebrate Dr. King’s b-day along with the heroes of the Confederacy….under the excuse that all these men were “defenders of causes”)….as for Northwestern University - the holiday was OBSERVED from 11 AM to 4 PM. NU thought that counted as a day off…..even though I still had to get up at the break of dawn to catch the train to the downtown Chicago campus for Ethics and Law.

Still, I’m happy Mark went down to LA. He went down to be closer to me, to hang with my family and our mutual friends. Plus, my family kept asking him questions about me (he’s the last person I talk to before I go to sleep, every night). So, it’s like we met in LA this weekend. That felt good. Jennie showed him a picture of me when I was little (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr). It was one of those Magic Mountain viewfinders. She said that in this picture, this was when I knew I was going to Harvard. Daffy little Kristina, wearing a green Harvard sweatership….thinking her parents can afford to send her to a private ivy league university, after all the money they poured into my skating.

By the way, Evanston’s not exactly the safest place in the world….The Chicago Tribune reported two people were jumped on Sunday. What the hell…..I thought it was tooo cold for that sort of thing!

I also had a dream last night….I was working on a story about rape that happened in Evanston. I kept interviewing witnesses and police who named other victims who were attacked by that asshole. But each name kept leading to another name…..I had so many questions. It was like running around and chasing my own tail. With every new interview, my stomach clenched. I wanted to throw up.

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