i’m a bit sad i don’t have much time left in Cali….i don’t want to leave, but school calls….it’s difficult to believe i’m starting school next monday. where did my vacation go?
these past two days, i’ve spent the mornings at Haas….getting ready for our student consultant training in August. I’ve been coordinating for the last four years…tedious work, really, but necessary. Even brother said he found the orientation to be a helpful introduction to working at Berkeley’s business school.
Wed night - we did a dinner thing with Wes and his girlfriend, Wendy. We went to Jillians at the Meteron….Wes had it in his head that it’s going to being bumping with the 5th year anniversay of the Meteron….he was wrong. it was dead.
[from http://www.jillians.com/club_detail.asp?club_id=41]
Still we had a nice time….caught dinner before the kitched was set to close in two minutes or so….the waiter said the cooks would be pleased when Mark, Wendy and I ordered caesar salads…..then Wes went on to order an entree…..so we were convinced that was enough to piss off the kitchen staff….Lots of TV screens blaring sporting events….we watched the final losing game of the Lakers over and over again. Found out that Wendy and Mark were both from NY.
It was civilized.
This weekend, Mark and I drove down to LA. Mark manned the 15 foot truck and I got his Corolla. Mark’s moving out of our little house in the Richmond Hills….in fact, he and Wes are going to be neighbors on this summer in Berkeley. Before, it broke my heart to think about moving out of our Richmond house. Since my parents lost their house….it felt like I didn’t have anywhere to call home. i though i would feel lost and abandoned without a physical building to call home. welll….a couple things made it easier for me to let go of the house we rented for the last three years…
1. Mark’s roommates are slobs and one basically trashed our master bedroom with rotting food cartons and smoke…..I think I got sick because I’ve never lived with a smoker before….I couldn’t breathe last week when I first came into the house.
2. My parents have a new house in Covina. David bought it for them, more of less. I do have pictures…..I’ll post them later. We stayed there this weekend. Two bedrooms and two baths…..it’s a more a condo than anything. My parents looked so damn happy to have a home again. I felt like it was my home after I plopped myself in front of our piano and started playing…..nobody was in the house and Mark was in the bathroom…..yeah, so it’s been a while, but I can still read music and I could fill that house with some tunes. It felt good. My parents went through a rough time and it’s lovely to see them settled in this cozy new home.
Mark and I were stuck in the new house on Monday to watch over the asshole contractor. He was dicking around with my parents and well, this was the only time he could fix the window his company fucked up in the first place. We missed our damn train to San Diego and I wanted to see Jennie because this was last time I could be in Cali before I took off for Europe. When I asked the asshole for an ETA - he asked “Why? Got a hot date or something?” Shit….I hate when guys cop that attitude with me in a bar, let alone my parents’ house. I figured it was better to pull the frigid Ice Queen glare on him, than retort something back….’cause that would get him talking and he wasn’t worth my time.
Mark and I holed up in my parents room, watching the Jerry Springer Show, Texas Justice, The People’s Court and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.
Then I called my Dad and asked if it was ok to eat in their bedroom - since we were trying to avoid the contractor. He said, “You don’t have to ask. This is your home too.” That made me feel all gushy inside.
It’s nice I can go home again.
3. The last thing that makes it easier for me to let go of our Richmond house….I found I could grow roots in other people. That way, I don’t have to be anywhere but with my friends, family and Mark. Earthquakes, bankruptcy, fires and other things can blow away buildings and cities….but as long as I have my friends, family and Mark, I still have people I can come home too.
I did lunch with Betina on Wed and it felt wonderful to catch-up and bask in her pre-wedding bliss…..We had a bridal shower for her last Saturday, before our LA road trip. She’s the only friend who feels comfortable enough to say she loves me 
She wants me to come back and talk to her kids about the media and news business, after my time in London. She’s home to me….
Wes - as odd as he maybe……he’s also another person I can home too….he knew me in my good times and bad times…and he’s stuck with me despite it all.
Tom and Susan - also two amazing, wacky and loyal friends. They make me laugh and I’m blown away by their generoisty.
It’s good to have these people in my life…the people who knew me before Medill….
Mark - of course he’s a home coming. Duh. Before we went back to the bay area, we stopped in Monterey for dinner on Tuesday. It’s amazingly easy to get there from the 101 N route….it takes about 20 minutes to hit highway 1.
[from http://www.fishhopper.com]
we had a rough time coming up, since i got paranoid over wedding planning….after dinner…i started thinking about whether i was ready to get hitched…..i’m not ready for adulthood….how can i think about getting married? but, it’s the typical insecurity bs i torture myself with….in the end, it’s all in my mind….
before meeting with Betina on Wed - I chilled at Barnes and Noble with a copy of “Bride in Overdrive.”
[from http://www.amazon.com]
The first two chapters went through a recollection of their four years of couple-dom and the last year of waiting for a proposal. I appreciate knowing there’s at least one other woman out there with similar insecurities and neuroses. So - I guess I’m normal…..Maybe I let the news of an engagement of another Medill student, get the better of me….afterall, it’s not a race….I can wait. This should not be a big deal….I have to finish school….I have to get a hold of London residency….
According to Mark, he’ll have the ring paid off next month….but if I have my scheduled pegged correctly…..I won’t be free for a proposal until Dec…..maybe….On top of my classes, in July, I’m back in Cali for Betina’s wedding and in August, I’m working on the con training for work. In September, we’re going to Paris and every weekday will be tied up with classes. Then it’s on to London for my global journalism residency….do you see any free time in this? Do you?
Yesterday, I saw Coffee and Cigrattes and chilled at Becketts, waiting for Mark to get off work…..it was nice to have a black and tan while I read the SF Chron.
[from http://www.beckettsofberkeley.com/]
Before we met up Wes and Wendy, I asked Mark if I had to worry about getting all wound up about a proposal for the remained of my break. He told me no. So - I had to reactions to this:
1. Relief - because I didn’t have to chew my nails over this. I could enjoy the rest of my vacation without anticpating this….He offered to tell me more…I said he didn’t have to…
2. Disappointment - I guess the psycho-bride-to-be was itching for Mark to get on bended knees….fuck….where did I go wrong? I use to be stronger than this….I hate getting worked up over a proposal when I have so many other priorities in life - mainly, finish school without failing and getting a job as a news producer. That should be my obsession, not a diamond ring. But I’m human and female….and most likely brainwashed by all those damn diamond ring commericals with ther random classical music and shadow people….you know….the ones that try to covince you the only way to prove your love is with a fuckin’ diamond. grrrrrr……so yeah….i should be wiggin’ out about this. really. i should stop. in fact, after our discussion on the 101, i made a committment to myself to eliminate wedding planning things from my life until i’m actually engaged….it’s better that way. so, no more wedding planning magazines or websites or anything to send my imagination reeling….
so yeah.
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