Queenkv’s Brainpickings

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Thanks to my Econ and Chicago Broadcast classes - I am no stranger to waking up before 8AM…..hell…both classes expected me in the newsroom by 8….and downtown Chicago was an hour-train-ride away from my dorms in Evanston.

Thank heavens I have my own laptop in Europe.

Back in Chicago…it was nice to have that train ride before classes - it gave me some time to browse through the Chicago Tribune….basically, it’s a cram session for the random news quizzes. I also had time to listen to NPR and catch a little CNN and MSNBC….as I’m getting ready for work….now I have to wake-up with the alarm on my cell phone…it’s the only noise I have going on…..then I get dressed and eat some yogurt…in silence. I just don’t want to wake-up Mark….I do miss listening the morning news on the radio…If I watch too much TV news in the morning, it sets me back a bit….I suppose I’m dazzled by all the pretty graphics….at least with the radio…I can multi-task with eating and still focus on the news….

Overall….I guess I’m still getting used to waking up in the silence….even with Mark sleeping in the same flat….I feel alone.

Maybe today will be better…maybe I’ll feel useful again….maybe I’ll go home early….I don’t want to get my hopes up….I don’t want to be disappointed…it’s fucking a difficult balancing act.

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also tried watching the World Series last night….it was about 1 AM and we killed a bottle of chianti at a delightful Italian restuarant…so I fell asleep before the end of the first inning. Sheesh…..Boston’s only a breath away from cinching the title….

We past a sports bar on our way over….it’s open till 3 AM. Mark wants to come back and watch what could be the last game of the World Series….he calls it historic since the Red Sox haven’t had a World Series Title since back in the day.

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I’ve done a lot of things for free…in my life…most of the time, money didn’t matter.

At St. Jude, I volunteered on the oncology floor….with cancer patients. The nurses were so sweet and patient. Some of the work was tedious….

My first duty was to stamp out the patient records with their hospital ID’s. Sometimes that would last for a few hours or so.

Some of the work was a little gross. As the volunteer, I got to take patient samples down to the lab. Sometimes the urine was still warm in the cup. No worries, I gloves on. Sometimes the nurses who asked me to take samples down would look puzzled when I told them I needed to find some gloves before I could take the samples down. Some would say, “I never had to wear gloves to take samples down.” I supposes nurses may have some type of immunity that I couldn’t cultivate as a part time volunteer. Oh yeah…and the samples smelled….they smelled bad.

Some of the work was sad. I remember being asked to baby sit a woman who wanted to smoke in her room. She seemed a little annoyed at me sitting by her bed side as she lit-up. However, the nurses said the last time she was smoking, she almost burnt the room down. The patient and I talked for a bit about life and my future. She didn’t want to talk about herself. She didn’t look like she was in pain….probably mellow on medication. Her room was dark…she didn’t like the lights. I remember the next week, she was gone. I asked if she got better. The head nurse said she terminated the night before.

Yeah, a lot of the patients were terminally ill. I remember sitting with patients, often….sometimes I would watch TV with a girl my age….but she was half-my size. She was tiny. Other times, I would sit in the dark with someone even younger….someone more afraid of being alone, than dying….and it always broke my heart when I found their rooms empty on my next shift.

Now….I’m doing work for free….and not only am I not being useful….I don’t think I’m doing much good.

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I remember training in Lake Arrowhead. One bonus to training in the mountatins was the high altitude. So, if you could make it through your routine in the mountains, it would be easier for you to compete down LA.

We also drove there for lessons with Frank Caroll. He was a big deal coach who had several Olympic skaters under his care. My family introduced the Kwans to him and Michelle went with him to the Olympics a few times.

Lake Arrowhead is about two hours away from our home in Diamond Bar. I remember in eighth grade, we made that trip every day to fit in a few hours of practice. I did my homework in the car. Either my mom or dad would work an eight hour shift and then make the commute that ended up being a 4 hour trip all together.

I worked my ass off trying to nail a double axel. It was the make-or-break jump for my level, at that time. Lake Arrowhead was home to a few dozen So. Cal skaters who named Frank as their head coach. On top of that, Lake Arrowhead hosted international skaters….

So, with that enviroment, it felt like I was at the bottom of the totem poll.

I think it was something like $60 for a thirty minute lesson with this guy. Sometimes he cut out of my lessons early to pay attention to a more talented skater.

I remember waiting for Frank to help me pick out music for my next competitive season. Every day, after the two hour commute, I hoped with all my heart that he would have a magical piece of music that I could transform into a routine for the next competition. I didn’t say anything…he ran through my jumps…that was all….without a piece of music, we couldn’t go over choreography or endurance…I tried to be patient. I saw him whisk in with tapes for other skaters….one for Joanna…who quit the sport for about 2 years…but since she had this amazing flair on the ice, Frank was willing to drop everybody for her. Including people who have stuck with him for the last year or more…people like me.

The rink didn’t have any railings. You could hop on from the bench…it wasn’t designed for hockey or public skating. I remember waiting for Frank by the tape deck. I saw him place a tape on top of the machine. I looked at him and he shook his head…that’s not for you….My lesson started at 5….he didn’t get around to me until 5:15….and the lesson ended promptly at 5:30.

He called Joanna over…he told her to listen to something he had in mind for her short program.

The opening strains of Prokofiev’s Romeo and Juliet ballet thundered through the rink. It was amazing, cool, epic and I wish it could have been for me…It was the music from the first fight between the Capulets and Montegues…it was beautiful…it still haunts me.

We ended up quitting Frank….I was tired of waiting for him and of him hurrying up to get rid of little un-talented me.

So now…I’m 26 and I live in the middle of London…but at work, I feel like I’m back in Lake Arrowhead…waiting for the music to begin for me.

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Limbo….I feel like I’m in limbo sometimes…my internship is interesting…but I suspect they don’t know what to do with me. I’ve had fun cuting some stories and writing scripts…I’m a bit nervous about what will happen next week. I remember sneaking into the ladies room at work…praying….I didn’t want to seem ungrateful….but I didn’t want to be bored to tears. I prayed for some oppertunity to prove myself - that I could write and I could edit on the computers. My prayers were answered. I managed to go out on a shoot for an art fair. They also let me write the script and produce the story. It went out on last Friday’s feed. I was thrilled. I also went to the Alfie premiere and got “umbrella” duty. It was fun….and despite all the waiting, I found it thrilling. I was doing me best to look cool and not to get that starstruck look in my eyes.

Yesterday, I reviewed video and edited it for another story to run on Thursday.

So, things are looking up….but again….I don’t know if this will keep up for next week. I hope so.

The pound is kicking our asses out here. It looks like I’ll have to re-evaluate my budget since my internship is reluctant to put me on any paid shifts…long story…I need to email financial aid and get more money out…Thank heavens the museums are free. Plus I paid up my rent in advance….but food is expensive out here. I suppose we shouldn’t go to many plays as well….need to tighten the belts a bit. We should be ok until our next pay day from Haas….I’ve been careful about shopping….I only bought 40 pounds worth of clothing…so I can match the business casual uniform of the office…We need to stop going out for food….but…I also need to buy lunch…eeck…I do my best to keep it under 5 pounds…I would bring food to the office, but since they’re short on workstations…I would have no where to sit. I found it safer to head over to a local deli or sandwich shop and ordering something for “here.” At most places, you have to specify either “for here” or “take away.”

Yesterday I was little annoyed that I had to go out grocery shopping…after taking care of that last week. I really had no business of being annoyed though…Mark was a dear and he cleaned out the bottom of the stairs that was filled with trash from careless walkers…he also did laundry and cooked dinner. So, I was the selfish bitch last night…He even washed dishes. Yeah…I was just being a baby.

We also signed up for gym membership. I hate running in the rain and English food is fattening…ok…maybe I should put so much sugar in my coffee…but you know what I mean. So far, I’ve hit the gym three times since joining. I signed up for the body combat class this evening. The classes are free with membership. They have yoga as well. So, my body is feeling better with the regular cardio exercise….I’m also using the weight machines.

Let’s see besides working out and going to museums…we also have 6 channels of TV to choose from. I don’t think we’re signing up for cable since we’re here for such a short time. Out of the six channels, two are repeats. So, we technically have four channels of programming. The British TV news is excellent…the reality programs are entertaining. On weekends, we get cheesy American movies. Not bad….oh…and around 5ish…we get Friends and the West Wing. If we get super bored, we have Mark’s laptop and DVD player. We brought over Family Guy, Sex and the City, Buffy and some movies.

Ok…so no more going out for Kris.

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