FREE SPEECH CAFE, BERKELEY — I read through articles from BBC, NY Times and the East Bay Express….it’s funny to walk on campus - again - as an alumni…my account still works for wireless - so I took advantage of it. It’s beautiful on campus. Students waltzed down Oxford and Center street - dressed in fluffy skirts, t-shirts, tie and suits and graduation robes. I should have worn a tank top today. Almost 70 degrees outside.
A girl fell alseep at her table - folks are still studying for finals. Her friend suggested she take a nap at the padded grey benches. She told her the cafe staff would wake her up if she did so.
My brother is gone. Now there’s a hole in my heart.
When Berkeley first installed it’s wireless access points - David printed out the locations and tested out the connections with his tiny $500 laptop. It was like a treasure hunt for him. He sat in this cafe - for hours - checking e-mail and reading.
On the movie front - I watched Episode 3 last night. It was good. I bought a deck of cards at the Meteron. We waited for a little more than an hour in line - to get decent seats. We played gin rummy. I won. Is Bush really Chancellor Palpatine?
The job hunt is still driving me bonkers - but people tell me it’s normal and to be expected - since the news industry is difficult to break into. I met up with KALX people this week - sniffing out job tips and contacts. I got some.
On Wed morning - my dad, mom and I drove David to Sacramento International. He had a huge green duffel bag and a huge black backpack. It was raining. My dad wore shorts and long black socks. I told him he looked like a post office worker.
He popped a Better Than Ezra CD into the car stereo.
“There’s an angel on the stairs
(as if you’d even care)
When the lights go up,
and the sun has nearly gone down.”
The night before - we had dinner at The Dead Fish in Crockett. It’s next to the Carquinez Bridge. My dad, Mark and David had beers served in wine glasses. My mom and I had pinot noir with our dinners. David ordered a sausage omelette. My dad wore a bib as he cracked into his crab dinner. We took a bunch of pix with the Carquinez Bridge.
At the airport - my dad dropped us off. Mom went to the bathroom. David checked in and then he handed me a boarding pass.
“You’re flying to Texas with me,” he said. After my initial shock - he explained this is a courtesy the Army arranged. Families of soliders got to wait in the gate area.
When we went through the metal detectors - Dad had mom’s boarding card, mom had mine and I held dad’s. And the TSA people let us walk through. Boy, did that make me feel better about airport security.
David tried accessing the wireless network in the terminal - no luck. He said hi to other people from his unit - about seven of them flew on the same flight. He bought breakfast - since the flight didn’t offer any free meals. I told David he should try the Pizza Hut and Nathaniel’s Hot Dog in the Green Zone. Mom asked him to mail back some beer from Germany. My dad asked for postcards.
In the next few months - David will fly to Texas for training and then Germany….and then Baghdad. I told him maybe by the time he get’s to Iraq - people could have stopped fighting and everybody’s getting along…and peace is going on. This made my parents chuckle.
We took more pictures in the terminal.
I told him I’d leave a message on his voice mail every week.
Then they started bordering for his flight. We walked over to the gate. It was difficult to believe this was happening. I’ve known for quite some time he was leaving for war. Even in the car, on the way to the airport - it didn’t seem real. But it was happening. My brother turned and opened his arms. When he hugged my mom, she cried. Crying is contagious. I took deep breaths to swallow my sobs. He didn’t need to see me turning into an emotional wreck. He hugged my dad and dad patted him on the back. Then he hugged me and I squeezed back.
“Kick some ass,” I said. I disagree with the war and with Bush and the idiot civillian leadership. But the army is David’s calling. I want him to do his job - keep people safe and come home in one piece. I want him to take out the enemy before they can get a shot at him.
“We’ll see you soon,” said mom.
He headed towards the boarding line and then paused. He turned around.
“One more,” he said.
He hugged my mom and she kissed him again. “I love you mom.” She told him she loved him too.
Then my dad. “I love you dad.” He told him he loved him too.
Then me. “I love you Kristina.”
“I love you too.”
I almost lost it. In my family - we talk about a lot of things….but that phrase…well, it’s just understood. It’s barely uttered in public and that made it more heart-wrenching to hear from my brother as he said good-bye.
So, I got goofy instead. I didn’t care if I looked like a moron. I was determined to keep my face tear-free. I struck a Sailor Moon pose and cheered my brother. I pointed at him and boomed, “You rock!”
He handed over his boarding pass to the staff member. He walked down the boarding bridge. I yelled out a good-bye. In the dark light of the hallway - he turned around for the last time and waved.
We walked out of the terminal. I hugged my mom and dad.
“When David get’s back - we’ll take him out to Cheesecake,” I told them. They tried to smile.
We took the escalators down. On the descent, I couldn’t squeeze back the tears.
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