Queenkv’s Brainpickings

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I’ve had a miserable few days but I’m doing better now.

Now I’m being selfish with my time. Why break my back and risk my sanity?

Lately, I was having problems falling asleep…letting my mind loop over To Do Lists and office BS - over and over again. That’s not worth making myself sick and it was made clear to me that other people don’t give a shit. The extra time I’ve spent away from my family is not valued by anybody but myself.

So I’m taking it back and wallowing in happy home time.
It’s nice to spend more time with my hubby and puppy. I don’t feel little anymore. I love cuddling with my Daisy on the couch and evading her smelly kisses. OK - I usually let her get a few licks in on my nose. We just finished up two episodes of Dharma and Greg - her favorite syndicated sitcom so far.

I’m layering up with all the love and best wishes from Mark, my family and friends. That and dreams of home will keep me warm as the chill and rain continue to fall over this part of Kansas. I’ll do my best to stay positive…and if need be, I’ll numb the cruel words and actions with cocktails and puppy kisses.

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The Daily Cal has more on how just a few hours before the fall, he told his students in class that he felt depressed. The campus paper also reported he announced plans to take time-off from teaching and lab work.

The journalist in me wants to know why I can’t find a press release on Berkeley’s site. Shouldn’t the Chancellor explain this incident to the campus community? I know it’s a horrible thing to happen, but Cal needs to acknowledge shitty situations. Why did the Chron wait until today to pick up the story and bury it? Why didn’t the Oakland Trib pick up this story? Cal is on the same side of the bay as the Trib. Good grief, the San Jose Mercury outscooped these papers with posting an article on this incident yesterday. The Merc attibutes some of it’s info to a posting on the lab’s website - but I can’t find it.

As a Cal alum….this death seems like a big deal to me.

I’m surprised it took me this long to hear about the prof’s death. I may live in Kansas - but I’m not cut-off from my home state. I’m able to keep up with Bay Area news — thanks to my aggregators on newspapers, stations and blogs. Plus at work, I’m plugged into ABC’s video feeds. Heck, sometimes I run kickers from the Bay Area. A few nights ago, I watched a package on the protests at UC Santa Cruz when the UC Regents held their meeting. And a google search pops up one blog entry on this incident. Is this suicide not a big deal for people in the Bay Area?

Another part of me wants to know: What was so bad in his life that he had to go that way? Why didn’t anyone see signs? What about good-bye? That announcement during his lecture didn’t sound like a suicide note.

Shocked…at what happened and the lack of reaction from the university and the mainstream media.

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This is my recent favorite dish by my dad - his version of the Thai laarb…heavy on the patis. Last year, we brought home Thai food for dinner and this dish. My dad said he could make it and a few days later, he did. My mom said that’s his gift — he can take someone else’s entree and reproduce it at home. This laarb had a nice meaty bite, tang from the patis and some nice lime overtones. A few years ago, my favorite Dad dish was mushroom steak - heavy on the mushroom cream…I loved dipping rice into that sauce.

Ahhh lumpia — a fantastic introduction to Filipino cuisine. Very user friendly. I tell newbies it’s like Chinese egg rolls, but it taste better Inside, you get bitefuls of ground beef, noodles, carrots, onions and other veggies. It’s fried up to make the skin crispy and smoky. Sometimes, I lose track of how many lumpias I’ve popped into my mouth - which is dangerous to anybody watching her waist line.

Mark tried more of the adventurous dishes…pink stuff, egg plant and stew…he was trying to find the ox tail and couldn’t…so he was a little bummed about that. As for myself, childhood memories makes me a wuss when it comes to those dishes. After watching and reading books by Anthony Bourdain and reading columns by Jeffery Steingarten — I know I’m missing out on a world of flavors…ignoring the mung beans, the egg plant and other savory dishes the rest of my family digs into with gusto. I was a stupid kid…easily influenced by the fucking cookie cutter meals other American kids grew-up with, like macaroni and cheese, hot dogs…stuff that’s pleasing to the eyes. And it soooo bugs me when anybody tells me “Just try it.” Because that’s insulting my memory, which is pretty darn good. Yes, I did try that dish, back when I was 10 years old…back when I couldn’t leave the table until it was finished…leaving a bitter taste in my memory of flavors. I’m not sure what I can do to get over my psychological hang-up on these dishes. Mentally, I want to be able to eat anything…and when it comes to other ethnic meals, I do! Escargot, tripe, chicken feet…and more. But there’s something I have to do to wipe the slate clean in my mind and on my tounge, to go back to those Filipino dishes. The ones that take more of an open mind…Something. Suggestions are welcome.

This piece from our wedding cake was more than a year old. Tradition has married couples take a bite of their wedding cake on their one year anniversary. My parents had it in their freezer and my dad thawed it out on the day we back to So. Cal. Mark and I did out married duty and ate the cake for breakfast. We were surprised it still tasted good - the cake was moist and sweet…and it didn’t taste old. Wow. Good job on preserving it! That tradition should ensure a happy marriage for a least a few more years…I’m sure.

On our way down to San Diego, we stopped by the Cafe Bagelry on Arrow Highway. I picked up this yummy egg, bacon and cheese bagel sandwich on a Cheese Onion Bagel. Tasty!

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Maybe I can get a job in San Diego.

Of course, I have pictures from jumping off a cliff and the yummy food. I will post them when I get back to the Bible Belt.

When my plane landed at Ontario International on Friday afternoon - I felt calm and blissful. As I walked through the terminal, through a sea of different colored people, it felt like I snapped back into place with the rhythm of Cali life. I’m back where I belong…and I didn’t have to work harder to impress people and to defend my point of view. I could simply be. It felt great to let loose this ball of control I had to knot around my sanity as I moved through my day-to-day work life in Kansas. As always, it’s difficult to stay strong and tough with my job when Mark was away in SF. He watched a couple of Giants games during his stay. I watched my Oakland A’s kick ass to the playoffs. Even one Lawrence blogger took notice in his entry about the Royals.

I’m also thrilled to be with Mark again. It sucked having the apartment to myself. Sure, Daisy always puts a smile on my face. But I still had to send her to Day Care during the work week in order to get some sleep for my graveyard shifts. I can’t wait to see Daisy again! Crazy dog. I have new video for her to star in soon.

Yeah, I’m in a swank hotel lobby…butting heads with the portal security software…listening to bad elevator music…but I feel like I’m home. Family, friends, good food…all I would need is my Daisy and my Cali life would feel complete.

Still, I still have more adventures waiting for me in Kansas. Fall colors have painted the city gold, orange and red. I pulled over to the side of Shunga Trail to take some pix of the trees, sometime last week. Elections, concerts in Lawrence and other small towns to explore. I will get the most out of my Kansas experience - for my career and more.

Good times. One way or another.

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