Queenkv’s Brainpickings

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After a lifetime of being my father’s daughter, after 20 years of defining myself as an Arab-American writer, I began writing Origin, a different sort of book - an American one. By setting aside culture identity in my psychological thriller, I was reclaiming both my countries, all my selves.

It’s never one or the other for folks who grow-up hyphenated in America. I’ve pushed for balance in my own life. It was a bumpy 29 years, but eventually, I learned how to cherish both my Filipino and American identities. I’ve also learned to ignore cultural expectations from others and follow my own path. That’s stopped me from going crazy.

This is a good thing. I’ve also grown more tolerant of ignorant and racially-biased questions. From strangers wondering how my family accepted a white man as my husband to others wondering if I knew how to celebrate Thanksgiving (because that holiday doesn’t exists in my parents’ homeland or something.) I’ve had to bite my tongue hard from spewing something mean and realize they’re not being cruel in return.

I found a way to answer those questions with respect and without callousness. I tell myself to take this opportunity to educate them. I’ve learned tolerance goes both ways.

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