Today - I’m jamming down to San Diego for the Dodgers vs. Padres ball game. It should be a good one. I’m wearing a navy blue Mary Timony shirt (from the concert) - ’cause it’s the only cool blue shirt I have. I need to show my LA pride….all true fans of the Dodgers and the Padres will be at this game….despite the fact it’s at Noon and in the middle of the work day….OK - I’ll re-phrase that. All true fans who don’t have to work (aka possibly un-employed, such as my sorry ass) - will be at this game.
Busy week….got back from Vegas - my cousin had to deal with some shady real estate agents….but we got that worked out. Had my first bobba drink in Vegas. I did not know they have a Chinatown…but they do. Bobba is yummy.
Let’s see…wedding details…thinking about seating arrangements, invites, e-vites, bridal shower, flowers, make-up, hair….stuff I didn’t think would be important to me and now they are. I told my mom the other day…it’s kinda sad that now my brain is wrapped up in these wedding details. To myself, I said it’s really sad how this is all I really have going on in my life right now.
Then there’s the station. Thank God for volunteer oppertunities in the college radio world. I worked on my show tape for the program director -yesterday. Basically, I pulled music and taped a fake show….I thought of it as a resume or demo tape for the powers that be. I hope they like it. I was still a bit rusty on the equipment - I suppose I’m not used to everything working…unlike my Berkeley station. It floored me that the auto-start for the turntables worked on the board. Well, I’ll cross my fingers and maybe I’ll get a regular show in a few weeks.
I also met-up with my skating buddy, Stacy. It’s always wild to talk to somebody who knew me since I was 5 or so. We did drinks at 330 in Brea. She’s coming to the wedding…YEAH!
Last night, I dreamed I was back at Ice Castles, in Blue Jay. I wore a white t-shirt and black leggings. I felt my old strength…back from my skating days. I felt no fear. I did a couple of laps and then launched into my jumps. First my axel, then my double salchow and finally, a double toe-loop. I felt awesome! I asked the box office if I could keep skating but they said it’s the Zamboni’s turn to clean-up the ice. I told myself I could come back and do the rest of my jumps, another time.
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dreams | Queenkv @ 8:15 am
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A few nights ago, I had a dream about being in the bay area…
It was at night and I dumped a white bag into the trunk of my black Corolla. The bag had the corpse of a brunette I killed a few minutes before….
Apparently she was homework.
I ended back on campus of a private school. Folks got dressed for our graduation ceremony. We graduated from the first level of field work. I apparently attended an assassin school and folks dressed up in pastel gowns for the ceremony.
I wanted to wear the gown from the Freedom Ball, but I ended up in some pale green dress with straps.
We had a few hours between the ceremony and the reception. I walked down to the lab and spoke with my trainer. He gave me my first assignment for the next level of field work - to dispose of the body. I studied a map of the bay area. I stocked up on gloves and other tools. I got a lab partner to help with the weight of the corpse.
We decided to dump the corpse in an East Bay River….maybe Strawberry Creek. My trainer said I should call the police and leave a nameless tip - since the girl would be missed.
We drove up to the river bank and pulled the white back out. Not too much blood. My trunk still had my black traveling box from DC.
Then my partner and I figured we could call the police from a bridge, further down the river. I claimed we found a body floating by.
I tossed me cell into the river.
We drove back for the reception.
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dreams | Queenkv @ 1:42 pm
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…putting the finishing touches on my resume tapes….looking for jobs…I’m getting ready to head out DC and head back home to Cali.
In the meantime - I’m closing the comment portion of ALL my blogs. I won’t have access to the internet - while I’m driving down the 70 - through the rest of the United States. Too many spammers and not enough time or resources to block their sorry asses. I’ll turn on the comment system when I get back home.
It’s been raining in DC….when we parked the car at the Basilica, Mark got out of the car first and had the umbrella opened up over me….such a gentleman.
“It looks like we’re going to a funeral,” he said.
“Well, sort of…,” I replied, “God kinda died today….
“You mean the Son of God.”
We went to a Stations of the Cross meditation service at Noon.
Even though we didn’t have classes - it’s been a long week…I’ve had some strange/disturbing dreams.
One night…I had a dream that David stood over my bed….He was upset…not sure if he was upset at me or at something else. I saw him bend down and tap my ankle bone, urgently. It felt so real and I forced myself awake. I couldn’t see anything in the darkness….
Two nights ago, I dreamed I was in my old house in Diamond Bar. I was with a few other journalism students and we complained about hard life was. We bitched about not being able to do the right thing and how the world would be better off without us around. Then someone’s mother came upstairs. She told us is we felt so strongly about all this - she could show us how to end our lives painlessly.
She showed me my bed, covered with the pink flowered comforter. On the bed, there was a huge needle. She said we could do this, one by one. One girl lies down in the bed and injects the needle. It took ten minutes and it was painless. Then the next girl would move the “corpse” off the bed and inject herself with the needle. The process would continue until no one would be left to remove the corpse from the bed.
One girl got weirded out by the whole smell of the room…she said it would smell if we kept stacking corpses like that…so she left.
Another girl got weirded out by having her corpse stacked on other dead bodies. She couldn’t deal with it and so she left.
I was weirded out by both…so I told the mother that I wasn’t giving up on living. I walked out of my bedroom…
Wonder what it means.
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dreams | Queenkv @ 12:39 pm
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I had a tough time falling asleep - last night. I couldn’t stop coughing.
I dreamed about my lola. there was some type of party going on at my old house in Diamond Bar. I sat down at the kitchen table. My lola came up from behind me. She hugged me and told me she can’t wait to have me visit her.
I woke up and remembered that my lola passed away a few years ago. Her birthday’s next month.
we visited Kane and his family in Western PA - for President’s Day Weekend….it snowed a bit, but it was a relaxing trip. We got caught up on our Battlestar Galactica episodes…we missed last Friday because of a party through one of Steph’s artistic friends.
So we played with the kids - I visited my first WalMart Superstore…my God! It’s big…unnecessarily so….and we got a tour of Kane’s brick plant. We learned how to make bricks.
So this weekend…I also had a dream.
I dreamnt I was warming up for another competition - at an outdoor rink. It was a huge rink and it didn’t have as many people on the ice. I didn’t have a coach. I passed my old coach, Sashi, on my way to the railing. He muttered hi and moved on his way. I stepped onto the ice and got my blood pumping with some laps around the rink and waltz jumps.
Then I went through all my jumps. I could still jump. That shocked me. I went over to the board and saw one of my journalism professors. He said he will be my coach for this competition. I told him he didn’t know anything about skating and he agreed. I decided to ignore him and take care of my own warm-up.
I ended up on the far end of the rink. After a while, I realized I couldn’t see anybody on the ice. It was empty. I got off and saw a sign pointing to the competition site. So I jumped off the ice and put some guards on my blades. The competition was held across the street - so I ran over there. It looked like the tiny Ontario rink on Holt Ave. But that was just on the outside….Inside - the ice was Olympic size. I saw my warm-up group. The volunteer was counting the competitors before the competition started. It looked like they were waiting for me.
I was first to skate. I wasn’t scared.
And that’s all…I wonder what it means.
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dreams | Queenkv @ 4:43 am
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I’ve had some pretty early mornings - the past few days. We went to the 7 AM Mass for Ash Wed. And this morning - I covered the Illinois breakfast on the Senate side.
We did a light non-meat dinner at Red Lobster - last night.
Then I had a totally weird dream.
I dreamnt I was interviewing one of the members of the blue grass delegation. He said it was close to lunch time - so he invited me to join his staff for a home cook meal - in his DC home. He said it would make for good TV news. So I went with one of our lady photogs to the dude’s home. It was hearty meal and the staff insisted we had a bite to eat. The camera was left on for this entire thing. In the dream, the dude treated both of us like his daughters. It was a sunny day and there was this porch out of something like Gone with the Wind. Then his wife joined us and we had another great profile piece on the family life of a capitol politican.
but it felt weird because everyone was so nice….and treating us like family…it felt like i needed distance - to remain aloof for the sake of journalistic integrity.
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dreams | Queenkv @ 8:49 am
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last night i had a dream that i was in the middle of producing our news magazine.
We managed to shoot our anchor spots inside this auditorium in the capitol. before we could shoot, a bunch of soliders came in for a de-briefing. they just got back from Iraq. They seemed relieved. In my dream, they wanted to know what our newsmagazine was about. I remained vague about the topics - I knew it was a fluff show and I didn’t want them to look down on our production. They said we should do a piece on their homecoming. I agreed. I knew they had some incredible stories to tell. But it was a fluff show - I tried to change the minds of the other people working on the show - but they didn’t want to make the effort to do anything more meaningful.
So I told the soliders we couldn’t make any more changes. I felt so bad.
In my dream, I also had an interview with one of the Senators. It was part of this office tour we’re shooting. He suggested we do the interview on the mall - facing the capitol. It was dawn.
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plenty of interviews canceling on me…at the last minute…I do have a preview story on the State of the Union. I read last year’s speech and I watched an episode of West Wing for some inspiration….
missed out on a yummy dinner with Steph - last night….she got the orginal Manchurian Candidate DVD from NetFlix, today….
feeling bent out of shape.
I had a dream last night about needing a cat. I needed a cat to help a little girl get over depression. Around midnight - I walked into a animal testing facility to save one of the kittens. In this world - humane society’s have been replaced with animal testing facilities. These place also have an adoption center - more of a last chance shot for the animals that are dropped off by other humans.
I got there at the time when a couple dropped off a kitten, the size of my cupped palms. They said the kitten didn’t want to eat. It was an orange ball of fuzz that looked more like a toy than a kitten. But it moved around, playing with a ball and meowed. I said I would take it. The couple looked happy….but they told me the kitten didn’t want to eat….so don’t get my hopes up.
Since the kitten wasn’t registered at the facility - I was techinally free to take it home…but some weird bureaucrat thought the kitten should be tested on….they were running low on felines. So, first he said I could have a dog instead of a cat. But I already fell in love with the kitten - I refused. Then he showed me the puppy - it was brown and cute. I said I’d take both. He wanted me to choose. I kicked him in the crotch, grabbed the kitten and urged the puppy to run away with me.
We entered this labyrinth of offices and lab space. The bureaucrat sicced secuirty guards on us. We hid in a closet. I was afraid of the puppy barking or the kitten meowing.
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The other night…I had a dream I was at a carnival at night. I hanged out with an old guy…could have been a professor. We had fun and it was amazing to talk to him - we discussed everything from politics to dreams. I didn’t want to stop talking to him. I was afraid of being alone. But after we slid down a giant yellow slide - he said he had to go home to his family.
Wandered through the park and saw two parents and what looked like their kids. They were Asian. It looked like they found their kids after being lost. They were by a fishing hole but they had poles catching fake mechanic fish. The parents warned the kids about wandering off and acting badly. They were afraid the kids would have been taken into custody of some government people. Bad people. Like out of a spy movie.
Andrea and Cub came over for dinner on Sunday. I picked up a copy of Cub’s paper and he told us the work he put into the Sunday edition - without credit…sadly. Andrea studied the electoral layout of the US - red, blue and tan, for the swing states. We wondered about our elections….
In a magazine interview, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson said: “I’ve no doubt Kerry wil win. Whether he’ll become President is another matter.”
This is the first year I’ve voted by absentee ballot. I wish I could have contributed to one of those swing states, but my home address is in Covina.
In past elections, I always felt nervous and queasy about casting my ballot. I guess it’s something about doing my civic duty and being afraid of screwing it up. This year, I finished voting and all I can do is wait for the exit polls. I don’t feel nervous. Instead, I feel resigned to accept I have no more impact on the way people vote…no more than water lapping at stones in a river.
I know it’s an important vote….but I feel kinda powerless over here….my political climax ebbed after I mailed off my ballot in a red post box….next to my flat. By mailing off my ballot, I guess I mailed off the rest of my anxiety and frustration with the electoral process. It could be different as it the hours move closer to the polls closing.
…hmmm…some people just have it out for Sen. John Kerry. I wanted to see what these ads were about after reading a Tribune article where Sen. John McCain defend’s Kerry military career. I know they’re friends, but I’m impressed by McCain’s loyalty that crosses party lines.
ok…I also got a giggle from the new facelift for the dancing baby - he had a cameo on Ally McBeal…and now he’s just Republican tool….
ah yes…comments on this page….MT Blacklist does not work with the new version of movabletype. And I can’t get the type key comment system running because I’m missing a perl mod on my domain. So….these version of movabletype as a function to preview and approve comments before I let them get posted. That’s what I’m doing now….in order to avoid the fucking spammers…you know who you are….I bet you’re a bit miffed your fucking scripts couldn’t blast my blogs with your ads for Go knows what.
That’s my middle finger at ya - fucking spammers.
So…for the cool people who want to leave a thoughtful comment…you will experience a delay in your comments being posted - until I review them. I’ll try to login on a regular basis to review comments - but I am in school and I have life outside of this blog.
thanks for your understanding on that. screw spammer…die spammer die.
as for that dream…
yesterday, our professors named the producers for the two shows that will run our final projects. I’m one of them :0 Sweet! This will look awesome on my resume tape.
During our producer meeting, the other student producer said he had a dream about meeting my boyfriend. He said it was very surreal and that he a good conversation with us. Then he turned to me and asked if it really happened….I guess it was so normal of dream that he confused it with a real memory….it’s kinda cool when the lines between our dreams and experiences blur a bit….a little scary….if you’re older and losing your marbles…but for now….life can be a dream….you can indulge in all the pleasures….and distance yourself from all the pain - if you think about life as a dream…
then again, denial is a river in Egypt.
last night…Mark and his cousin Nate hanged out with Susan and Tom…
I bet they had fun….damn…I miss hanging out with our friends in SF…I wonder how much Mark and Tom flirted with each other 
Sometimes they can’t keep their hands of each other….
Mark, I’m joking. Settle down.
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dreams | Queenkv @ 9:10 am
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