Today is another day…..I started it off walking through a winter wonderland….I listened to the Postal Service on my walk to school – in the snow. The synth beats synched up with the snow fall and I was enchanted.
Jennie brought a smile to my face with these pix!
thank you Jennie! She sent out some pix from Mark’s last visit to LA!!!!! YEAHHHHH!!!!
I didn’t realize Katie had such big paws…….
now….yesterday….
my professor discussed the statuate of limitations the other day……i asked if there were allowances made for victims who needed longer than a year to heal before filing a lawsuit. he answered flippantly, “You shouldn’t take longer than a year to get over something.”
if felt like he threw mud at me.
It’s almost a year and I still get chills when anything that touches the subject of sexual assualt crosses my path. We had to read a Supreme Court case about in which the victim sued a TV station for naming her in their report on the crime. I wonder if anybody in my class sided with the media litigators.
I kept leaving the room, clutching my stomach – hopefully people thought I had cramps, or something…..I locked myself in a bathroom stall and stifled my tears with my hands. It’s still there, that defiled part of me, broken and sore and it drives me crazy when you put pressure on it.
How does one survive sexual assualt in a new city? How can I keep healing. I read my Mary devotionals and I do yoga, each morning, in order to start the day off on a positive note. I try to keep my personal comments vague, leading people away from the last nine months of my life. I can’t predict how any class assignment or conversation will affect me and possibly trigger those memories. I want to keep shoveling dirt on the whole left behind when that asshole ripped out my dignity.
I want to forget it ever happened.
I want to go home.
I can’t trust many people. I don’t want pity. I want some understanding, some compassion. I guess it’s not going to help if I’m expected to cover the religion beat for my news writing class – the big deal on the religious front is all molestation scandal in the Catholic Church. I don’t know how I will be able to balance my faith, my commitment to my healing, and my commitment to objective and hard-hitting news reporting, on this beat. I asked my instructor for some senstivity on the beat assignmentsand it looks like I didn’t get it. Ok, part of it is my fault (probably 90%) – I emailed my beat choices in too damn late.