well….my honey and I had a talk last night. It was a good talk. It was kinda confusing for me – because he wanted to visit me every few months and he wanted us to both be very present in our lives, despite being 2000 miles apart. on halloween, he said he just wanted to be friends – which hurt, a lot – but i accepted it, because I knew we would be the best of friends and that he needed some time to figure out what he wanted in his life. so – lately, he’s been talking about stuff we can do, as if we were still a couple….it confused me – because I was preparing for the big break – when he leaves me in Chicago.
So – I finally told him – yeah it’s nice to talk about spending Valentine’s together, in Chicago – but are we going to spend it as friends? He said no. Then I told him I was just confused about what he wanted from us. I knew I wanted us to stay together – but I didn’t want to voice it out loud – I didn’t want to pressure him into anything. So – we talked – a lot – about where each of us would be in 12 months. It was a good talk and I think we did great, staying open and communicating. Finally, we both knew that we still loved each other – and that we should just follow our hearts. We can’t plan for everything, but we did know it felt right to be together. He said it hurt to think about breaking up – he said it was like thinking about cutting off his own arm.
this is a huge relief to me – staying together. i’m really happy about it
