Author Archives: queenkv

time passed me by…

just got into work, late…it’s ok, ’cause i worked pretty late last night. i also saw a very interesting/disturbing/cute film in the city:


tamala: 2010 – it was a very dark cartoon. i’ll probably write more about it for bonvivant

so this korean bbq i had for lunch is making my tummy do flip/flops yummy stuff, though…

two weeks ago – i thought time was going to drag…..now i realized that time has actually passed me by at an alarming rate – and it feels like i’m no where near ready to leave and start a new life in chicago – i haven’t had time to pack! grrr….so, it feels a bit overwhelming and i’m doing best to resist the unconscious snacking that used to be the way i deal with stress. not anymore!

tonight, my honey and i are going to Skates, a beautiful restaurant by the berkeley pier….kinda to celebrate me going back to school. i also have my therapist appointment in an hour – so i’ll probably slip into something nice at restrooms over there.

wanna know what i learned from 7 years of bay area livin’? my last On the Record show aired this morning.

am i really doing this? am i really berkeley, the bay area, california? yah. i guess i am….

hey

hey – this song is going out to the last guy to post to this blog….chris – more power to you!

Tragic Kingdom Lyrics – No Doubt

Once was a magical place
Over time it was lost
Price increased the cost
Now the fortune of the kingdom
Is locked up in its dungeon vaults
The castle floor ties in traps
With coiled wires set back
Decoyed by the old cheese
Now the drawbridge has been lifted
As the millions
They drop to their knees
They pay homage to a king
Whose dreams are burried
In their minds
His tears are frozen stiff
Icicles drip from his eyes

The cold wind blows as it snows
On those who fight to get in
On heads that are small
Disillusioned as they enter
They’re unaware what’s
Behind castle walls
But now it’s written in stone
The king has been overthrown

By jesterly fools
And the power of the people
Shall come to believe they do rule

They pay homage to a king
Whose dreams are buried
In their minds
His tears are frozen stiff
Icicles drip from his eyes

Welcome to the tragic kingdom
Cornfields of popcorn
Have yet to spring open

Have they lost their heads
Or are they just all blind mice
We’ve heard all their stories
One too many times
Hypnotized by fireflies

That glow in the dark
Midgets that disguise themselves
As tiny little dwarfs
The parade that’s electrical
It serves no real purpose
Just takes up a lot of juice
Just to impress us

They pay homage to a king

Whose dreams are burried
In their minds
His tears are frozen stiff
Icicles drip from his eyes

Ohh, they drip from his eyes
Into the night
They drip from his eyes

Welcome to the tragic kingdom

Cornfields of popcorn
Have yet to spring open

Welcome to the tragic kingdom (faster)
Welcome to the tragic kingdom (faster)
Welcome to the tragic kingdom (faster)
Welcome to the tragic kingdom (faster)
Welcome to the tragic kingdom (faster)
Welcome to the tragic kingdom (faster)

Welcome to the tragic kingdom (faster)
Welcome to the tragic kingdom (faster)

one for my blog….

ok – you may think this is cheesy…..i guess it feels like i’m falling in love with my honey, all over again! so – here we go – sorry if it’s cheesy – last night, while we shoped at Target – we ended up kissing in one of the aisle. then he giggled and said:

kissing you makes time stand still

and he pointed out that we were standing the aisle were all the clocks were sold. they were all turned off…. as for the next really cheesy – but romantic thing – i had picked up a beautiful frame from Target and I was putting our couple pictures inside. He decided to help me cut them up and place them – he has a better hand for cutting straightlines. he said he was happy to help me with the frame because not only will i be able to look at all our happy moments, there’s also a really nice memory of working on the frame, together.

this would be a dream come true

I first heard this song by Amy Grant….I was in the mall, shopping for gifts and I heard this song come on. I was struck by how beautiful its lyrics were…..and it’s such a dream, if it could all come true.

Grown Up Christmas List

Do you remember me?
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you with childhood fantasies
Well I’m all grown up now
Can you still help somehow?
I’m not a child but my heart still can dream

So here’s my lifeful wish

My grown up Christmas List
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars will never start
And time will heal our hearts
Every man will have a friend
That right will always win

And love will never end
This is my grown up Christmas List

May kindness rules our lives
Not just the strong survive
Sweet tears for all the thousand years on mind
This is the world I pray
We will all share some way
Help me begin by reaching out my hand

No more lives torn apart
That wars will never start
And time will heal our hearts
Every man will have a friend
That right will always win
And love will never end
This is my grown up Christmas List

Why does this illusion call the innocence of you?

Maybe when the time believe we can find the truth
No…

No more lives torn apart
That wars will never start
And time will heal our hearts
Every man will have a friend
That right will always win
And love will never end

This is my grown up Christmas List

This is the prayer that I will keep
This is my grown up Christmas list
Christmas list

reality TV getting into my dreams….

ok – maybe it was the stuffing or the mashed potatoes….or both! i woke up confused….a little disturbed…..and with a lot of gas…..

the first part of dream was in a reality TV show – this guy was traveling across the US – from NY to CA – to prove to his girlfriend in LA – how much he loved her. The producers of the show had a meeting with him in Arizona – they outlined the final leg of the trip. They wanted him to finish the trip, walking. He thought they were insane – but he was finally convinced that it was a good idea. He could picture himself droppping at her feet, as he entered LA. The producers said, well no – they had planned on cleaning him up, before he meets her – they didn’t want to gross her out.

the next part of my dream took place in Alfred Hitchcock’s house. It was a very goth affair – and his two adult children joined us for dinner. There was a creepy butler, but he looked like the one from Joe Millionaire, Paul.

paul_lg_01.jpg

[ from fox’s joe millionaire]

We kept talking about his movies – anaylzing them. There was also a billboard cutout of an actor from one of his movies, standing near the wall. According to his kids – this was a magic billboard that granted wishes, in a diablolical way. Hitchcock was thinking of a wish, that couldn’t be granted in a diabolical way.

Some how, the billboard disappears – and Hitchcock was quite sad. He son ended up in the house’s attic – which looked like the upper wings of a theater. He found a similar billboard – but he wasn’t certain if it had the same magical properties. Two other people were trying to grab the billboard away from him – he wished they would go away. They did and plunged to their deaths from the creepy attic area.

Then it was desert time. The butler served these peach tapioca thingies. The kids confessed to me that they were worried we wouldn’t get out of this house alive. They thought Hitchcock was a little too wrapped up in his movies, and wanted to be one of his insane killers.

The butler had also mixed up a sleeping posion in the kitchen. He dipped the daughter’s mice into the mix and fed them to her cats. The daughter said it was difficult to give the cats a bath, when they’re awake. This way made it easier. The kids had me freaked out – so they convinced me to take that sleeping poison and give it to their father, somehow.

I noticed Hitchcock in the kitchen. I took a small pushpin and dipped it into the sleeping poison mix. Then I walked up to Hitchcock, took his hand, and stuck the pushpin into his flesh. When I looked up into his face, it wasn’t Hitchcock – it was the sensei from my Hankido Club…….I felt ashamed.

The kids brought me back into the living room – a documentary was playing about the man who owned this house – their father. he was a nazi sympatheizer. The film kept cutting between all the world leaders, who were his buddies – and they were trying to speak German to him, and scenes of chaos, from outside the house. Some of the world leaders featured were Churchhill and Eisenhower, both trying to speak German. Then the film reveals what the chaos outside of his house, centered on. He led a mad crowd to overpower his parents. He wanted to crucify them.

I ran out of the house….

What a freaky dream.

a smile on my face….

well….my honey and I had a talk last night. It was a good talk. It was kinda confusing for me – because he wanted to visit me every few months and he wanted us to both be very present in our lives, despite being 2000 miles apart. on halloween, he said he just wanted to be friends – which hurt, a lot – but i accepted it, because I knew we would be the best of friends and that he needed some time to figure out what he wanted in his life. so – lately, he’s been talking about stuff we can do, as if we were still a couple….it confused me – because I was preparing for the big break – when he leaves me in Chicago.

So – I finally told him – yeah it’s nice to talk about spending Valentine’s together, in Chicago – but are we going to spend it as friends? He said no. Then I told him I was just confused about what he wanted from us. I knew I wanted us to stay together – but I didn’t want to voice it out loud – I didn’t want to pressure him into anything. So – we talked – a lot – about where each of us would be in 12 months. It was a good talk and I think we did great, staying open and communicating. Finally, we both knew that we still loved each other – and that we should just follow our hearts. We can’t plan for everything, but we did know it felt right to be together. He said it hurt to think about breaking up – he said it was like thinking about cutting off his own arm.

this is a huge relief to me – staying together. i’m really happy about it

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