submission for Theme Thursday
i felt broken on this day….April 21, 2003 – the day after Easter….two days after my life was blown away by a horrible invasion of my body and soul.
i’m ripped raw
i’m losing ground, losing sight
Losing faith
i’m turned inside out
i’m trampled by the everyday
they say to be gentle
i say i’m ok
i’m losing hope, losing sense
i’m losing myself in work
ignoring those voices, those memories
and it hits me, from out of nowhere
no sanctuary
i can’t go home
i can’t face God
i turned my back on those safe havens
where do i turn now?
they say they need help
my door is closed
leave alone
they say they need help now
i dry my eyes
open myself up
skewered by obligation
i can’t hammer out a peace
not with this seige on my sanity
i can’t force a truce
between my faith and my sin
i can’t point a gun
to blow away the blame
to decimate my doubt
sluice out blood to clense the bruise off my soul
adapted to pain
adapted to my shame
accepted my broken head
once proud, once fierce
less of a woman
less than human
how could he do this to me?
why did this happen to me?
why should i trust anyone, ever again?
i go on
i struggle
i dig nails into my flesh
i grit back my tears
i ignore the tender scab
left behind
when he shredded my innocence
so carelessly