am i always going to be running from myself?

watching “Kissing Jessica Stein”….left work early – probably throwing my chances at part-time with Haas…..

[Josh is confronting Jessica after she made a private phone call.]
Josh: You a little jumpy today Stein?
Jessica: No.
Josh: You got a hot date?
Jessica: No.

Josh: Yeah. Who’s the guy?
Jessica: There’s no guy.
Josh: Oh come on, you’re a terrible, terrible liar.
Jessica: Trust me, there’s no guy.

Jessica isn’t exactly looking for happiness….she likes to run from these things.

Josh: ….I think the problem is with you….”
yeah – I guess so.

i miserable….i wish i could go back to that day – the day after my bro’s graduation. i was so happy. it felt like everything was going for me. now…i’m trying to forget everything….good going…i’m an idiot…

i’m such a fucking moron – i just spilled my smirnoff ice. argh. oh well – gottta get more booze.

i guess i don’t react well when somebody forces me to do something. i thought mark did that to me today. i didn’t know…i thought i could ask him – my calves killed from hankido…

his justification – he wanted to get me to my meeting ontime. i tried to tell him – i guess i didn’t get it across. but yeah….he blew up in my face – i was needling him…i guess i shouldn’t have told him. i guess i should have kept my mouth shut. like what happened to me. like what fucking happened to me. i didn’t say anything…it just happened. i’m a fucking moron. i deserve to get yelled at. why the hell do i let this get to me?

i was so happy…